Break Free

As we celebrate our history in the month of February I am in deep gratitude as I am reminded of the strength and greatness that we come from.  When you hear the stories of what our ancestors had to endure for most of their lives the limits that were placed on them, the struggles they faced and sadly the lack of freedom, what comes to your mind? I am always inspired by their courage to think that there were people before us that not only survived but were brave and selfless enough to fight for our freedom today. In a time where even valid excuses could have been good reasons to roll over and die there were people that stood up and fought for our rights, our freedom, and many died trying.   The desire to be free to be treated equally was their focus and without evidence of it being a possibility they held on to their faith and continued to show up. Being present to that fact it leads me to my question “How dare us know the stories and continue to exist and take life and the sacrifices of our ancestors go in vain?  The truth that I often think about it the fact that they endured a lot of pain but when it was time they rose to the occasion versus choosing to be a victim and allowing the rest of their life to be dictated by their experiences.  Daily we are struggling we are constantly faced with adversities, we are challenged daily, but the greatest news is that today we have been blessed with the freed to choose freely.  Being a victim is a choice, and being victorious is choice, our challenges is not a good enough reason to remain the same, instead it should give us more reasons to trust God and no matter what fight to thrive.

I think about my own experiences in life growing up and I also think of the valid reasons that I knew would have justified and enabled a limited way of thinking and being. Complaining and having regrets rewards us with more emotional distress, confusion which does not serve us. We can choose to continue to relive every hurtful experience we have ever had or be open to seeing them as a part of our story as a testimony of God’s love and teachings. It is easier to be a victim than it is to fight the thoughts in our minds and the stories we have created around our experiences.  The conversations we have with our selves matters and whether you believe it or not the bible says that the power of life and death lies within the tongue.  It is our responsibility to be mindful of the words we use and what we think about ourselves as they can either bless us or curse us. I spent a lot of time telling my self lies and believing them I told myself how unworthy I was and that there will no man that will love me for me because I did not believe my father loved me. The happening was my father had to go away for eight years of my life which had nothing to do with me but everything to do with his bad choice of lifestyle. I spent years being angry with him, I allowed myself to be a victim to an experience and I continued to relive the last day I saw my dad from the age of three until I was nineteen. I had to get complete I had to let go of the stories I created and truly discover self to appreciate how amazing I was despite not having a two-parent home. The greatest thing that happened to me was I got present to the blessings in disguise once I decided to forgive. Although painful at different times of my life it taught me how to make choices that would serve me as an adult.  What I desired and deserved for a family and the kind of love and stability I wanted my child was clear thanks to my experience and the pain I endured.

“Being A Victim To Life Is An Excuse , Which Is A Disease That Prevents Us From Creating Solutions.

- Shanett McNeill ”

In life it is important that we do allow the pain we endured  to be in vain and only result in hurt, our ancestors , our grandparents , and our parents  did not fight through their circumstances for us to choose to be victims of life and live in mediocrity. Everything that we have experienced from the day that we were born and in this present moment is a part of our story. The great news is we were not only created to live and learn but to apply all that we have learned and be brave enough to leave our prints in history. The time we invest today making a difference may not benefit us directly or immediately but just like our ancestors that died fighting for our us to live a better life we too are responsible for paving the way for generations to come. God’s love  connects us all and our purpose in life has nothing to do with us , and our past holds no weight there is an assignment that we must complete and there is a calling on our life we should strive to live up to.  When God gave his life for us he did not become a victim to the hate and the treatments he received by the very people he was here to save , what gives us the  right to be right in our feelings and allowing limited and negative thoughts to direct our paths .  I want to remind you all that being a victim does not serve us do not be victimized by your experiences and lessons in life.

Look Under The Hood

How often are you making decisions based on what you see or hear without properly analyzing a dissecting a situation to be informed or aware of what you are getting into? I will confess that I have experienced this more often than I like or enjoy. I have no regrets or resentment for any of my experiences because each time there was a new and valuable lesson learned that eventually had major benefits in the long run.  No matter how many times we experience betrayal or disappointment it is never our right to be angry, vengeful, because whether we enjoy them or not, we must always be open to the unseen blessings that come with them. Last Sunday my pastor preached about a story in the bible which taught a lesson of being aware that all that glitters is not gold, just because its shimmers does not mean it is real.  We must mindful and careful when we are making permanent decisions for our life to not mistake temporary people or things for permanent positions. Change is consistent we all experience different seasons some longer than others and some seasons begin and end in the blink of an eye. As my pastor would say “I love it when things are revealed to me early” which is true there is a bigger blessing in finding out before you invest too much  time and energy, and it is usually a lot easier to let go.

“Price Is What You Pay , Value Is What You Get.”

We must always go into every situation of our lives hoping for the best and expecting the unexpected and trusting God through them, We are all human we make mistakes and no two people think the same. There will be difference of opinions there will be a difference in beliefs, but it does not mean that two people cannot co-exist, and it does not mean that one has to conform to the other persons belief. The sad part is not everyone has the ability to co-exist and respect the difference of opinions and beliefs, some will try to impose their beliefs on to another and in some cases tension will rise and create a feeling of discomfort. Sadly the lack of respect and understanding for each other can and has been the demise of potentially good friendships and relationships. Communication is key it is important that as people we learn how to be present to what we are feeling and who we are being and be open to communicating our true feelings. It is also our responsibility to protect our peace, protect our minds, protect our energy, and protect our space not by living in fear but by applying the lessons learned and looking beyond what the eyes can see.  Do not be deceived by our desperate needs to fall into the traps of pretenders and situations that are no good for us.

Under the hood rings truth pay attention to patterns, words, and actions, and not just the figure that is presented. We will learn a lot of lessons on the way it is how we apply them that determines whether we grow from them or allow our pain to be in vain.  Hurt has a purpose and it is not only to hurt but to open our eyes and our mind to what is and what is not.  In everything we do just as a child would seek permission from their parent before deciding, we should always be quick to consult with our heavenly father. Seeking guidance is an important tool and being obedient to His orders will save us a lot of time and heartache.  We   are responsible for how we respond to what experience and we are responsible for how we grow from our past hurts and mistakes. You are worthy of all that life has to offer stop selling yourselves short for what looks good versus what we know is good.

Time Reveals

They say time heals, but I have learned that time reveals and teaches us valuable and painful lessons more often that we like and most of the times unexpected.  We all have dreams and along the way we connect with people and we journey to different places with hopes of learning new things and building bonds that we would cherish for life.  The downside to that Is as time and seasons change so does the intentions and minds of people. The space in which you connect with a person has an influence on who they are at that time. Connecting with a person in a low moment of their life will show us a side that could reflect in low self-esteem, misplaced anger and so forth. The irony is that this does not define the true nature or character of a person because it is possible that in a different season of their life, we will receive the opposite. When a person has not mastered self and have a clear and open mind about life as the seasons and circumstances around them change it is possible that they will change or in other words be moved. One of the most important but challenging truths that we all must grow to accept is that everyone you start with will not finish with you and everyone you cheer for may not cheer for you and that is okay.

Growing up my grandmother was very strict and big on two things the first was not having a lot of friends in her personal space, and the second was staying out of other people’s drama. As kids this was a struggle and not so much fun for us because out of all the houses on the block and the kids in the neighborhood we were the only kids that were not allowed to have company and we were not aloud to enter their yards either.  As an adult I now appreciate those teachings because it molded me to be okay with being a loner when necessary, I had no idea then the path that I would be walking later in life.  I can honestly say that mentality and upbringing has shaped the way I accept, and responded to things and people that are revealed to me over time. All throughout my life I have experienced moments of feeling disappointed, and unexpected hurt but each time I was open to learning from those experiences that I would apply whenever I saw signs that reminded me of familiar experiences. The one thing I was very happy about was the fact that taking time to be alone and one with self-turned out to be very beneficial and fulfilling. I used to struggle with trying to figure out or make excuses for their actions and taking responsibility for it. The truth is that everyone is operating from their own level of consciousness and there are people many people that are struggling daily with past hurt and experiences that impacted and shapes who they are being today.

In closing I want to encourage everyone reading today to understand that in life we will experience a lot of ups and downs, confusion and hurt and the irony in that is they too serve a purpose. In the moment we may not understand it but always be mindful of how you are responding or internalizing your experiences. No matter how many times we fall it is our responsibility to get back up and rise without fear, Trust that God is always with us and never failing, It is not our duty to get consumed with trying to prevent or avoid experiences that you forget to enjoy life.  Learn from your past appreciate your experiences and never lose essence of who you are because others failed to appreciate your greatness. Be unapologetically you be bold, be fearless, and no matter what remain true to yourself. Sometimes you have to walk alone to rise; the journey of mastering self and growing spiritually is personal and has nothing to do with what the world thinks or expects from you.

“Time has always been the greatest ally to Truth.”

Walk In Your Destiny

“ Life is too short to get bogged down and be discouraged , you have to keep moving, you have to keep going, put one foot in front of the other, smile and just keep rolling.

-Kobe Bryant ”

It is a blessing to experience rare and unique individuals who are whole and complete with self and open to loving and accepting your uniqueness. Sadly, on the other hand there will be people that spend little to no time getting to the core of their struggles, and unable to honestly and effectively communicate their feelings without projecting their insecurities onto others. If we are not careful of the types of energy, people, and things, we allow into our space we may be setting ourselves up for a fall. It is important that we all can grow to a level of consciousness that allows us the freedom to be whole, one with ourselves, and confident in who we are and what our purpose is. The word purpose and the idea of purpose can be used frequently and incorrect because the truth is our purpose is nothing like and art project or something that is periodically done. When we have identified what our purpose is, and we begin to live in purpose it is a lifestyle and a daily choice to sacrifice what we feel like at the moment and showing up for what we are called to do. Time is very precious and while it is natural for us to believe that we can put assignments in our lives on pause for a later day or date we the truth is that is precious time being wasted and taken for granted.  Everyone wants to reap but not enough of us are committed to sowing and planting the seeds no matter the season, the weather, or the circumstances in which we are in.

Life does  not come with a manual and as the great late Kobe Bryant would say “ Life is too short to get bogged down and be discouraged , you have to keep moving, you have to keep going, put one foot in front of the other, smile and just keep rolling.” The words from that quote rings truth and pure motivation for me and has been a logic that I am committed to living by. As a woman, a wife, and a mother life can get hectic, it can be quite frustrating, emotional and discouraging all at once. There are days that I feel like I am attempting to take on the world and I have no Idea how I will make it through. There are days that I feel unstoppable and I almost feel like if I made up my mind to believe that I could fly I just might. The point is every day will not be the same, we may not have the energy to think beyond our current struggles but what always makes sense is the feeling I feel after I showed up any how and kept rolling with a smile. Many will ask how do you keep pushing even on those days that life feels impossible, I focus on being in gratitude and I remind myself daily that my life purpose is bigger than me and it is not about me. There is a time to rest, there is a time to reflect and there is also a time to pray, and there is a time to work, praying and working has to become a non-negotiable for you Why? Our purpose in life is a gift from God which means there is nothing we can do without Him, and everything is possible through Him.  Everyone will not always be  comfortable or on board with your drive if they are not able to see a vision for themselves that is bigger than life and understanding of the fact that there is work to be done and we cannot continue to say one day we will instead choose to make today the day you rise up and begin to  walk in your destiny unapologetically bold and confident.

In closing I want to remind and encourage you all today that we all have no idea of the day .time, hour , or place that will be our last but we cannot focus or dwell on that instead it is our responsibility to commit to living each day, learning new lessons  not being afraid to take leaps doing more of what scares and challenges us. Time is of the essence it is no longer okay to take this precious gift of life for granted , start your journey today by reconnecting with your true self and asking God to show you the path in which he has laid out for you and get busy doing the work.  Living a life full of regrets and empty wishes and promises is a sad way to live but it is never too late to decide to want more. Stand in the mirror and say to self “I deserve to have and be more than what I have settled for, I am capable of bringing my dreams to reality despite my past and current circumstances. I am a born champion and it is my choice to thrive and no longer suffer in fear, mediocre, and silence.” I am unapologetically me and there is no way I will apologize for finding my purpose and being committed to living, walking, and breathing in it all the rest of my days.

Let Go To Grow

have you ever been in a space where you have an idea of what you want to do and how you want to do it but missing the how to put it into action? There are many reasons as and things that can have a negative effect on our creative process which often leads to feeling frustrated and a mental block. It is very important to be present with self, our immediate surroundings, and the type of things we are being influenced by. One of the most valuable lessons I have learned on my journey of transformation is that I cannot bring forth new results with old baggage and stinking thinking. In order to be proactive in creating new our energy and intentions must be pure, secondly being mindful of our thoughts and having clarity. Lastly it is also important to be aware of the baggage we are carrying with us whether it is having regrets, disappointments, struggling to forgive.

In order to get connected to how to get started we have to begin with accepting the past, and be willing to let go and move forward. It is normal to be in a state of self-doubt and without a clear understanding , however it is our responsibility to allow those feelings to be brief and not permanent. Time spent dwelling is just time lost from planning. A wise woman once said face your fears and problems reveal them and heal from them. Life is about having the freedom to explore all possibilities that life has to offer. Be open to the challenge to evaluate self, learn to forgive yourselves for past mistakes, let go of grudges. Focus more on the things that really matter, know your why and get proactive in planning and getting it done. There is no time for distractions of the mind and negative emotions, it is our responsibility to take control of your future by being open to learn from the past. Love your struggle and proceed with force your future is at hand and the way you respond to life will determine the tone you set for your life.

“When You Have The Option To Choose Happiness Or Resentment , Choose To Be Happy Because You Deserve To Be.”