Being Proactive In Self-Care

“You Set The Tine For Your Life When You Make You A Priority And Not An Option.”

What is your definition of self-care, and are you truly invested in taking care of you?  My definition of self-care is to make you a priority and invest time being committed to your well-being. It is easy and sadly it is almost like second nature to take care of everything and everyone else around us first and our needs are placed last on the list. The reality is there are people who are a lacking a clear understanding of what it means to practice true self-care. There are many different forms and categories of self-care, there are people that believe showering themselves with material things as an act or practice of self-care, gifts are okay, but they are not the most important they only reward temporary rewards and satisfaction. It is very common to meet people who believe their hard work and success speaks the language of taking care of self because they have committed to doing and having. In reality none of those things even come close to be a factor on the topic of self-care. self-care is simply taking the time to take care of your mind, your body, your spirit, and soul. It’s about taking the time every day to take a moment and just be about you, taking the time to fuel your mind with positive reads things that fills you up instead of draining you. Take time to speak life into yourself, your dreams. It okay and great to be the voice of reason and in service to the people around you but if you are not taking care of you first you are no good to anyone else. “You cannot give what you don’t have, and you cannot give the little that you do have.”

The question that some may struggle with is figuring out the “how to balance making time for self and life.” The reason being is that sadly we have been taught to make self-care an option and not a priority and we have also been given the wrong idea of what investing in taking care of ourselves looks like. The day I became a mother I began to reflect of the examples of motherhood I saw around me and the self-sacrifices that were made and I vowed to myself to not make those same choices. I made up my mind to love me fully I knew that in order to be the best wife, mom, and woman I desired and was created to be that was necessary. The first point I wanted to share is that true self- care does not require money, the second point is that it does not require you cutting out life duties it just requires you wrapping your life around your well-being. I started with practicing beginners level yoga and meditation at home every morning, I was a new stay at home mother I was clear on the fact that my days revolved around her care. with only 24 hours in a day I knew that it was my responsibility to make time for me and not leave my needs up chance. What that looked like was me waking up three hours before my daughter would so I could invest my morning fueling and pouring into my mental, spiritual, and emotional health. Lastly, I always created a set time to take care of my physical health and I was intentionally about making these important steps a non-negotiable and not an option.

In closing I say make YOU TIME a priority and not a thought, put your name in a time slot on your priority list. Make being in service to self an appointment to invest in you fully you can pray, read, meditate, self-reflect etc., just to name few. Another very important form of self-care is to identify when to say no, for example you may be that person everyone calls to dump their complains, struggles and sometimes negative topics on. Its okay to be proactive in protecting your peace unapologetically and respectfully by simply stating" I am not open to taking on your stuff today". By communicating the space, you are in that is you taking a stand for you without feeling sorry or feel guilty. Detoxing our mind and protecting our energy is necessary for our well-being. love the people you love, be true to you always, but never forgot to detox and refuel. Take time to love on you and pour into yourself first daily the greatest investment you can make is the time you invest in your personal development and well-being.

Plan With Flexibility

“The Mental Flexibility Of The Wise Man Permits Him To Keep An Open Mind And Enables Him To Readjust Himself Whenever It Becomes Necessary For A Change.

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“If you can’t be flexible with life you become irritable with life.” Planning with flexibility was not my strong suite in fact it was really challenging for me to wrap my mind around the fact that evening with detailed and organized planning everything will not always go as a planned. I allowed my lack of understanding of this concept to have a negative affect on me as a person, my attitude, and my level of productivity.  I believed that everything should always happen the way I anticipated them to with a closed mind. It took me years to get present to two things I am not in control of the order of my life God is and I cannot prevent or avoid divine intervention.  I am responsible for how I respond when unexpected changes occur. One of the things I learned about myself was that I struggled with this because of my perception. I believed that life was against me I used to claim that I did not have the best luck and I am sure there may be others like myself that had perceived life in the say way. I struggled with this for years and looking back I recognize that this was also a result of me operating from a lack of faith and my desire to be in control and desire to be in control comes from a place of fear.

 Today I am in a completely different space was it easy? No, it was very challenging, but I was committed to growth which required me to do the work to transform my mind and attitude towards life. One of the biggest misconceptions that we all can admit to doing is feeling entitled and righteous about our feelings and thoughts. “ my life is not fair” this is a common belief or perception for many, the reality is life is not designed to meet our requirements or comfort zones, life is also not centered around luck , life is designed to teach us , test us , and inspire us to rise above failure and rise to the occasion.  Failure is a choice just as winning is a choice, which means the side of the field that we stand on is a choice.  To win at life we must first begin with practicing the art of mastering self, identifying where we are mentally and spiritually and being aware of our belief system. Our belief system plays a very huge part in how we perceive life and the experiences we have, shifting our perspective from why me and to why not me experience this change or delay and come out better. I invested time In personal development, I also committed to growing spiritually to build a personal relationship with God.  The result of that was learning the importance and benefits of committing all my plans on to Him and to surrender to his will whenever there is a detour from my original plan. Secondly by building a relationship with God I am able to recognize when I am being tested and when I am being distracted so I can have a better understanding and the tools to respond and not react.

In closing I want to encourage you all to invest time in transforming your mind, body, and spirit, it is the key to changing the course of our lives. As a child growing up, we have been taught and also adapted a lot of behaviors and teachings that were simple basic skills of survival. It is our responsibility to unlearn all that does not serve us and take responsibility for how we evolve moving forward. In order to thrive we have to be open and honest with ourselves, it is important that we lose the desire to be in control of life and be open to changes. It is important that we choose to no longer operate in fear but to have a heart pf gratitude for everything that we are blessed to experience whether they are good , or challenging they all serve a purpose that is greater than we can see or understand . We cannot question God’s time we must trust that all things are working for our good and be prepared to learn a new lesson as we anticipate receiving a blessing.it is okay to  Plan to win but  remember a true winner is one that is open to planning with flexibility  always leaving room for God to step in and do new and amazing things in your life. The next time you are in process of writing out your plans for the day do not forget to seek direction from God and take action expecting Him to show up just in time to work all things out for our good.

Be Open To Possibilities

When we hear the words winning, blessings or a breakthrough, what are some of the first things that come to your mind, what kind of picture do you create in your mind? The reason why I asked this question is to reveal two things, the first is that we all have allowed what we think things mean to guide the way we perceive the actuality of what is. secondly to reveal the common error we all have made when we refer to those words. I used to associate those words with only things that are good or relates to results that I am comfortable with accepting. I have learned that they can result in the complete opposite but still have those same meanings. What do I mean?  I used to believe that winning, blessings, and having a  breakthrough always meant that something good was happening or an outcome that I was anticipating I learned that being disappointed, experiencing an unexpected detour, and what appears to be to loss of something or someone can still be equivalent to winning, receiving a blessing, and a breakthrough. How many times can you recall experiencing a rough period in your life that you may have never imagined that it was actually working for you and not against you? Did you know that the idea of winning is a mindset that everyone of us have access to, did you know it is not always about receiving a winning title over a person or in a competitive nature? You are a winner if you rise everyday with enthusiasm for each day and being determined to give it all you got no matter what you are upon against.

We all have what it takes to dream and bring our dreams to reality, the thing that limits us is not what we don’t have access to it is not using what we have and seeing the possibilities within them that limits us. It is very natural and common to spend more time hoping and wishing and measuring our level of success by other people’s success. It is also very natural to be discouraged by what we are shown on the outside when we have no sight of a person’s process and the storms, they were up against but managed to make it through. Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an ending but most times we all are more drawn to the end result that we forget to stop and ask the necessary questions. Not everyone is open to share their lowest moments in life as much as they are open to sharing their highs and that is okay. We owe it to ourselves to be open to inspiration and taking action in our own lives, anything worth having is worth working for and always keep in mind that not everything that glitters is gold.  The same possibilities that are available to an individual that appears to better off than us are the same possibilities that are available to us if we choose to receive them. A closed mouth does not get fed and we cannot expect to reap a harvest if we have not planted the seeds.  The question we must be bold enough to ask ourselves and answer honestly is How committed are you to your dreams?  Are you ready to do what it takes to achieve true success and fulfillment?  And lastly is it worth the sacrifice and hard work?

Many of us have fallen victim to the idea of what living the ideal life looks like that we forget to consult with our true selves about what is it that we desire. We have been enslaved to a specific definition and picture of what success is that we lose sight of what it means to obtain true success. True success has nothing to do with all the accolades and awards we receive, but it has everything to do with the joy and fulfillment we feel on our journey to create something that is bigger than us.  The beauty about the purpose of our lives is centered around a few simple rules, knowing who you are, be true to yourselves, know you worth and never settle for less, and most importantly it is not about you. Be selfless and selfish with yourself and time, know when it is time to take a step back to regroup and know when it is time to push through. We have twenty-four hours in a day and the quality of each day is determined by our will to win and never taking for granted the present moment.  Living a life of fulfillment and purpose is available to us I am not more special than you are I just choose to live to create the live I deserve, and I encourage and pray that you do the same.

“Success Is Not A Straight Line , It’s Much More Of A Dance And Being Open To Possibilities.

- Arianna Huffington ”

Dig A Little Deeper

“Take courage and declare that your battle belongs to God and no other.”  I share this quote to encourage and remind us all of how good God is even when we are undeserving and without hope.  We all may have been guilty of falling victim to peer pressure from family, friends, society, and self.  As a kid we learn what is right from wrong and very early on we are flooded with rules and expectations of what we should and better be doing and by what age they are to happen. Theses are some of the primary factors that can lead to an individual feeling hopeless, discouraged, worthless, and even depression.  There are also other factors In the world that promotes us to live in fear and being discouraged in our daily life, such as the stories we hear on the news , all the natural but devastating events taking place, the evidence of less love and compassion for each other growing.  These are all a hundred percent accurate concerns, but even in the midst and through it all it is our duty to stand confident in our faith that there is nothing too big for God to fix.  We have no control of the things that are happening around us or in the world but what we do have is the power to choose the type of effect we allow them to have on our lives. We can choose to be affected negatively or be impacted positively, our mind and our perspective shapes our reality and sets the tone for our life daily.

If you are a person that allows the experiences around you to promote fear and hopelessness in your life you are robbing yourself of the blessings and endless opportunities that are available to you. If you choose to be impacted in a positive way the first step is to appreciate everything and everyone, the good and the difficult moments. Be intentional about seeing the silver lining in every situation knowing that there is a season and reason for everything and if we believe God will always reveal and protect us. Last week Sunday the world witnessed and experienced a tragic and fatal loss of nine lives on board of a helicopter. The news brought forth a mixture of different emotions for everyone, for me I struggled with accepting it fully and not questioning the timing and depth of the horrific incident. Some of the thoughts I had was that he was still so young, his daughter still had her whole life ahead, what did those other passengers do to deserve such an ending. I had to remind myself that our destiny has nothing to do with the way we lived but has been written since the day we were born, there is no error or accident in God plans and ruling for our life. I also found peace in reflecting on not the quantity of his life but the quality 0f his life how he lived while he was here and the impact that he had on the world. I found peace In the fact that although his daughter was so young in her thirteen years, she has also left an impact in the world by her drive and passion for life and the game of basketball. I had to shift my perspective and redirect my focus of what I believed should have happened to what really was and what I needed to do moving forward.

“It Does Not Matter How Far Away You Believe You Are ; As Long As You Keep Pressing Forward You Are Closer Than You Were When You First Started.
Keep Digging !

-Shanett McNeill”

I was reminded that life is short, and we should never take life or time for granted, I was reminded of how important it is to live in love and be present throughout all my experiences in life. I was reminded that life owes me nothing and everything that I desire to have and the dreams I hope to manifest is my responsibility to work for. In the midst of being shocked and heart breaking I also was grateful for the amazing lives that God saw me and the rest of the world  fitting to witness such a tragedy  as a reminder of what truly matters in life and how important it is to live with out limits and truly appreciate this gift called life.  Today I pray that you all will seek God and find comfort in his love and promises for us and remember we all have a date , day , time , place , that we do not know but it is ours ,but while we  are gifted with life daily let us live it boldly. Be unapologetic about our pursuit of happiness, purpose, and peace. Trust and believe that no matter how big and how dark life’s trials are at times God is still able to do all things. My question to you today is are you going to allow the uncontrolled events of life affect you or inspire you to keep pressing on with faith and confidence?  The choice is yours but no matter what it looks like be encouraged that where there is a will there is a way Dig Deeper.

Full Time Faith Walker

Walking by faith and not by sight is a very popular scripture that is often used when in transition to making a new decision that may be unfamiliar or considered to be a risk that takes us out of our comfort zone. The problem is as common as it is and as easy as it is to recite when in need of motivation and inspiration to get started, the truth is the act Is not always the easiest to practice. In some cases, it is easy depending on the severity of the challenge we are up against which leads to my next point and question. Are you walking by faith part time, or are you walking by faith full time, or are you walking by faith selectively? In life we will come up against many different struggles in different seasons and it is our responsibility to stand firm in faith and believe that we can rise above our current circumstances and struggles. Life is a box of mystery filled with lots of beautiful and blissful moments and then there are scary and devastating moments, but they are both equally important and necessary on our journey through life. There a many factor that play a role in how we waver in trusting the process and being a hundred percent confident in our faith that the end results of what we experience will come together for our good.

Money is one of the most common worries for many of us, it is the reason we will trade time and freedom. Miss out on important precious moments, the reason we will stay in a job or career that we no longer enjoy. The reality is we all have to grow to a place in life where we grow to fully understand and take advantage of the fact that God is our only and true source of provision, protection, health, and success. There is nothing that the things or people of this world could reward us that God cannot do.  having little faith can open big doors and put us in places that no connection we have to a person can do. When you declare to be a believer and a person that is walking in faith it is important to build a personal and trusting relationship with God. Once we have that our faith walk is not easier, but our level of confidence and faith is different.  Recently I found myself in a position that truly tested my faith, I accepted a part time position as a trainer at a gym. Being a personal trainer is a job that I love and enjoy so naturally I thought this would just flow into what I already do, and the plus was earning additional income. After three months of working there I began to feel really uncomfortable, boxed in and anxious. The job itself was not hard but being locked into a job was not a space that rewards me time or freedom to effectively work on my brand. Yes, it rewarded me additional income but it that too was equivalent to me just trading time for money because the time I was spending there I was robbing from the time I needed to be investing in my mission.  The blessing was that I was able to identify what was happening it was a matter of being obedient and I will be honest I tried coming up with my own alternatives to work it out to have my time and the additional income. To sum it up my alternative solutions failed and the only option I had left which should have been my first was to resign, but there was still a great blessing and a lesson in this experience I will forever be grateful for.

“Be Employed In The Career Of Life As a Full-time Faith Walker.

- Shanett McNeill ”

In closing I am proud to share that I was reminded of two things the first is understanding that the plans that God has for our lives will require us to be obedient and trust Him. the second thing I was reminded of was that the things we chase are nothing compared to the giant of blessings that God has In store for us. The day that I decided to trust, and jump was the day I felt two things, I felt a sense of relief and gratitude for the unknown of how and what will happen next which in return created a shift in my finances. Today I want to  encourage you all to do less spending with your time and more investing , time is precious and is nothing something we get to rewind while it is gifted to us let us not take not a second , not a minute , not a hour  for granted. Allow yourselves to be aligned with things you desire on God’s timing an order of operation, while you patiently work be proactive in healing and growing physically, mentally, and spiritually in order to be in the position to receive the blessing. There is a lesson in every experience there is a blessing in every lesson learned. How we show up in one area of our lives is how we show up in all areas and we cannot have faith in one season and question God in another. Trust the process and be employed in the career of life as a full-time faith walker, you have what it takes to win and manifest, but you cannot do it without trusting the process.