Suprise It's Monday !

Today I am happy, today I am free, today I am love, today I am grateful for the sounds of life coming through my window, I am grateful for work and productivity. I am grateful for this moment in my life as I embark on a journey that is in alignment with my future self.  We cannot leave the decision of how happy or grateful we will be based on the days, reason being life is one of the most precious and fragile gifts given to us by God. It is one of those gifts that is not guaranteed and one that we know not the expiration date of. Which means each morning we are fortunate to have the element of surprise when we are blessed to live to see another day on the earth.  We get excited about things that do not and can never amount to the value of life why not get excited about something so unique and full of surprises and lessons.  What I discovered today is that a lot of the reasons some of us cannot change our perspective on this concept is because of the people and things we are surrounded by.

This morning I logged on to my social media accounts and I was searching for a funny or positive Gif about Monday to share. To my surprise the best I could find was a blinking Monday nothing with an excited or happy quote about today, now if we think for a second that the world is connected through social media. I want everyone to use their imagination a little if everyone is only seeing negative messages first thing in the morning can you think about the kind of mood being set for the day? Not a good   day right, especially for people that do not spend the time needed in the morning to set their intentions and tone for the day this may have a negative effect on their day. I say this to say happiness is a choice and, in making that choice, we must choose the people and environments we want to be in and the kind of influences we want in our life. I am not saying social media is bad, I strongly suggest that is does not be the first thing you look at in the morning simply because energy is contagious and adaptive.

 You and I may be one out of ten that does not wake up unhappy about any day but the moment we get on all we are exposed to is all the complaints and negative thoughts about the day first thing in the morning, we begin to feel that energy.  This is a part of the reason I personally will not watch the News first thing in the morning or before bed simply because It makes me sad, angry, and confused, and for most people that is how they start and end their day with all that information of all the chaos going on around the world.  I am encouraging everyone to be intentional about setting standards and the tone for the kind of day you want to have and how happy you choose to be every day. Happiness begins with gratitude the more things we can get present to being thankful for everyday and throughout the day take every experience as a lesson but a blessing in disguise. Everything will not make sense right at that moment, but I encourage you to trust that there is greater purpose behind it all. Wake up with thanks giving and joy in your heart, fill your mind with positivity, and love, set your intentions for every day and protect your peace and happiness always. Be unapologetic about your choice to be happy by any means necessary, if that means not having conversations with specific people, not tuning in to certain environments so be it. If anyone asks you to let them know I am busy being on purpose with my peace and happiness you can join me, but I can no longer compromise my inner peace and happiness.

Guilt Free

Have you ever taken a second to ask yourself why do we apologize for expressing our true thoughts or concerns?  I am sure there were times in every one’s life where we may have expressed an opinion or thought but because the person on the receiving end were either offended or confused by it, we feel obligated to apologize. I often debated in my mind if apologizing for our actions especially if we truly meant it even an apology? why should we feel guilty about our truth regardless of how the other person perceives it.  I strongly believe that speaking from a space of truth is everyone’s right, I believe that we set the boundaries in our relationships when we are truthful. The boundaries we set gives people an understanding of who we are and what is acceptable and not acceptable.  Did you know that guilt is one of those emotional barriers that prevents us from taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally? The need to take other’s feelings into consideration before thinking about how this affects us a person can lead to a lot of negative behaviors later. We begin to take on responsibility for other people’s feelings, and before being true to ourselves we automatically make decisions that will please everyone else but our self.

This is common in friendships, intimate relationships, and family relationships we find there is always one person that may be a little more vocal than the other or in some cases two people being in different positions based on their choices in life but placing blame on another to dismiss the feeling of regret.  I remember as teenager I had a friend who I was friends with for several years the issue at hand was my commitment to being guilt free was a big problem in our friendship. There were always expectations and obligations that would be placed on me and because I was always vocal to set boundaries this created conflict. Eventually this friendship came to an end which sometimes is necessary for both individuals one must take responsibility for their choices and stop placing expectations and blame on others and the other must be strong enough to feel guilt free for having boundaries. Life is all about choices it’s like the saying goes people can only use you, abuse you, or neglect you if you allow them or placing more on someone that did not ask for it.  The idea of not subjecting yourself to guilt is to know that your desire for happiness can only happen when you are true to yourself and bold enough to protect yourself no matter who a person is to you.

“It’s Your Life
Don’t Let Anyone
Make
You Feel
Guilty
For Living It Your Way.”

It is our responsibility to insist on receiving appropriate treatment from others as you would give to them, it is our job to be clear on the things we do not tolerate and the things we accept and not feel guilty because someone cannot not respect them. Do not allow anyone to make you feel crazy or wrong as we should always strive to respect other people’s boundaries for their life and not make it a goal to make them feel guilt for staying true to their self. We must set the tone and believe that we can trust ourselves to care of ourselves and to be present to know when our boundaries are being violated.  When it becomes apparent that we are being violated it is for us to address and be honest about how we feel and what we expect moving forward  unapologetically and if the people in our life can not understand or respect them there is no immediate need for them in your immediate space and it is not our job to feel guilty about choosing our self. In life people have a way of making you responsible for their life and expect you to lose yourself for them to feel comfortable in your presence.  Our role in any and every relationship is to share and encourage not take on the burdens of their choices feel guilt free in your choices.

Your Best Is Good Enough

“Always Do Your Best What You Plant Now You Harvest Later .

”

Today I will participate in life to the best of my ability, regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner - the language of letting go. When I read this statement, it was confirmation for me it also gave me a sense of comfort and relief in my mind.  The reason being is being an entrepreneur or a person that is committed to building their dream or journey in life sometimes it gets difficult, but it is not always process that is hard a lot of the time it is how critical we are on ourselves. We are our own worst enemies we invest a lot of time after creating something criticizing our own work so much that we begin to believe that other people will not receive our work or find value in our work. It is a natural act to take time to check your work and to ensure that you have dotted all your I’s and crossed all your T’s but there is such a thing as being too critical that you remove something that could have possibly been the key piece of your work. This is where our lack of confidence is evident when we being to second guess and doubt that what we have is good enough, this is the very thing that will keep us stagnant on our journey.  The act of doubt is also   another form of procrastination   and a sign of fear, because we fear the outcome of our work we over criticize and then ponder on whether you should complete it or strongly consider changing it.

The more time spent debating with yourself fighting doubt and fear it does become a logic case of procrastination and a valid excuse. Why is it a valid excuse? because anything that keeps us away from mastering or completion is an excuse and a distraction even when It may seem to be a valid reason. I know for me in the beginning of my journey anything that I was committed to doing there was no ending to my obsession of the results, I would constantly re-read and change something each time. There were times when I ended up changing my entire format because I was so worried about it not being good enough, the only thing I have gained from doing this was I lost a lot of time and wasted a lot of energy doubting what God has already confirmed. I have missed deadlines and had to complete other task in a rush because I spent so much time criticizing and procrastinating. I remember  whenever I was taking a test I  have learned that whenever I have second guessed myself and pondered on an answer for long periods I would  change my answer , and every time I did that I learned my first choice was the correct answer and vice versa whenever I made a choice and stuck with it without question and pondering it was correct.  Where I am today is after I have completed my final edits and corrections, I have mastered the ability to not be obsessive about the end results, I began to choose to be confident in my gifts and believe that my work is good enough just as it is. I also had to accept that everything will not be for everyone some people will connect and others just won’t, but I cannot sabotage my own success by focusing on wanting to please everyone. Who it is meant for will receive and others will receive it when they are in a place to receive what I have to offer?

The only thing that matters in everything that we do is that we give it our all and if we are pleased with how it all turned out there is no need to feel like a failure. It is not about the numbers it is about the quality   you can have large numbers with minimum impact or have small numbers with massive impact. The one thing to always remember is your purpose is not measured by how you look it is about how many lives you impact and make a difference in that will make all the difference in yours.  Relax being in service to others is not about how good we look it is about the love and transformation that an individual feel after being in your presence. If we become a little less self-obsessed and self-centered, we can focus more on what our gifts are meant to do for others rather than aiming for praises by becoming less critical of ourselves and our work. If I can bless one person a day, I have done my job, always remember that our purpose was given to us by god not for self-glory but to share with those who need what we have to offer. I encourage everyone to repeat this to yourselves daily “I am confident that I am enough, I have given my best and my best with be a blessing to others.”

Be Present Without Worry -Transformation Of The Mind Tuesday

To Be Present is to be without worry about the unknown and all that we have no access to in this moment .Focus on right now give yourself permission to soak up all the beauty and the blessings of today .

Great Strength In Vulnerability

Most people associate being vulnerable to mean that someone is weak or lacking strength when the ability to be vulnerable at the appropriate times is one of the greatest forms of strength a person can display.  Pride and the fear of how people perceive us is a few reasons why people will choose to stand in pride before they choose to express emotions or speak on sensitive topics.  The real question is how does living prideful benefit us as individuals how this act contributes to our wellbeing and our mission to create a successful and happy life. In my opinion based on my own personal experiences and being present with people that have lived their entire life to fit into a frame created by others, this is the easiest way a person can self-destruct. In the end the same people that we put ourselves in a box to meet their expectations are the same people that are waiting to pass judgement. There is an old saying that goes “you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t “, so I say do what makes you happy and avoid what makes you compromise your core values and peace.

The beauty about how God created us is that he blessed each and everyone of us with our own unique gifts and talents, but we can only access these gifts through being true to ourselves. It is impossible to access what is for us if our true self is over powered by who we are pretending to be.  we can only access or truly unlock our blessings when we commit to living life as our true selves, in our true state of being it is filled with freedom and purity. We are fearless, we are open, and vulnerable to our desires and emotions. Living in a prideful state we are fearful, imprisoned, and corrupted by expectations and our thoughts. Acting outside of who you truly are has temporary benefits people will gravitate to you at first, but energy does not lie and no one in this life is perfect, pride gives the need to want to appear as people without flaws or ever falling short.  People cannot gravitate to perfection because as humans we feed off relativity, we feel most connected to even a stranger if we can relate to them as a person and their story.  The thought that you must show case to the world perfection because you believe that is what they expect from you then also expect to be judged and labeled as someone that is inauthentic.

“Being Vulnerable Is The Only Way To Allow Your Heart To Feel True Pleasure.
- Bob Marley ”

Being labeled in life is what a lot of us fear, I say if what you are doing and who you are being makes you whole and completely free be that and do just that. There Is no need to create a confusion in your identity you are who God created you to be not what people expect you to be. Today I am encouraging everyone to be bold and kind enough to share your struggles and be vulnerable when it is appropriate or needed. Life is about more than just our own instant gratification life is simple and the more we embrace simplicity the lighter our load feels. Instead of holding on to our fears, past hurts and regrets and allowing ourselves to be a victim I dear you to free yourself when the opportunity is present. How do you free yourself? by sharing your story, your true emotions, your thoughts, and even allowing the tears of healing to come through without worry.  The truth is we hold the key to how happy we live by simply choosing to be free to live by our own standards and not letting pride be your guide.  Give yourself permission to feel your emotions and take responsibility for them, remember being open to surrendering to the pain as well as the joy in life.