God's Gift To Me

On November 13 ,2017 I met Ann Regan for the first time she was 85 years young and had been battling congestive heart failure, this required her to have  some one assisting her around the house. When I drove there at first on the way I was thinking man this is too far, and it will be dark when I leave. I do not like high ways and especially at night but never the less I took the job. This had to be one of the best decisions I ever made I got over my fear of driving on the highway at night and I gained a new friend. She loved the fact that I was a spiritual person and even though she was catholic, and I was not every day we would pray together. In an ironic way she often kept me on track with reading my book because she loved when I read to her. Whenever she was eating she wanted me to eat too, she always wanted to see out side and often talked about the spring coming so she could go for a walk. One thing she always expressed to me was that she didn’t remember a whole year after losing her husband, it was almost as if she was just in a daze. One day she said to me “he left me a tape that he sang a song do not be afraid for me” so I asked her did she mind me listening to it she said “no”.  I got the tape and I played it and she began to cry saying “this is the first time I have cried since he passed thank you I knew God sent you to me “.

Hear I was thinking that God sent her to me and whole While I was Sent to her as well there was something she needed which was to face the reality,accept him being gone and to remind her not to be afraid. December fifth was when I started writing my blogs and she would always ask me to read them to her which I did. Everyday being by her side never felt like a job   this felt more like I was hanging out with my good friend we spent a lot of time encouraging, loving, and inspiring each other. I even spent my birthday with her in all my years of working I never ever worked on that day but this time it was different it almost felt like I needed to be with her.  January 19th was the last day I got to work with Ann and on that day, we listen to the tape gain only this time I encouraged her to feel his presence, connect, and be free in your heart. I watch her close her eyes and she sung and she cried I told her Ann don’t you ever be afraid, but who was I to tell her that when all the while I was afraid to lose her. We hugged, and she kissed my face she told me to come over any time and we could spend the night together. I was sad to go I almost felt like she needed me to be with her to the end, but I guess God had other plans.

“when you lose someone you love
you gain an angel you know ”

After I left I would call her and she would say nay-nay as only she could say it best she would ask me not to forget about her and always keep in touch and I promised her I would. I thought about her every day and I thought to call her on Sunday, but I said no I would call her Monday. Monday came and my Anna called me and she said “nay-nay I wanted to call you to let you know I was thinking of you, but I have company, so we will talk later don’t forget about me “. We said our usual I love you and I told her I would call on Tuesday. There was something about the way she sounded so urgent that she talk to me Monday just to tell me that as if she knew that would be the last time we would speak but, I was so busy I did not get a chance to call. My heart and my mind stayed on her, but I didn’t call I told my husband Saturday is her birthday I am going to surprise her. Thursday evening came, and I was sitting on the couch and it was like I heard her say nay-nay, so I picked up the phone and I called her, but she didn’t answer. Later that night around 8:30 p.m. her son text me to say she died an hour ago.  Even though I knew this day would come I guess I just wish I could have hugged her one more time and told her how much I loved her, but I know she knew that. I pray that she was not afraid, and I am happy that now my Anna can finally rest peacefully, because every day we debated about her not wanting to rest she was afraid she would miss something, or she would say I will rest when I am gone. I share this to say make time to tell the people that are important to you just how much you love them it takes two seconds you just never know when that will be the last time and it is better for them to hear and know it while they are still here. If I could talk to her one more time I would tell her just how much I loved and missed her.