Ask For What You Need

Did you know that there are a lot of people that are more afraid of asking for help than they are of failing? Success  leaves clues and asking for help does not make you less qualified for success . The truth is even the smartest person in the room still have areas in which they struggle. Our goal on our mission should not be built on wanting to be perceived as perfect. Being able to master the things you are good at is great, it is also great to be open to learning what you do not know. In most cases where a temporary setback is present is usually not because of what we know it is a result of what we do not know. The problem is most people are stuck in a limited mindset that prevents them from practicing authenticity, their appearance to others is more important than learning. The need to appear to have it all together limits one’s ability to be vulnerable and willing to ask questions. Research is important but after researching sometimes having information is not enough if we do not know how to apply what we learned. I have learned it is ok to work smarter and not harder, investing in getting the help that we need saves us time, serves us today and in the future.

In addition to people being concerned with how they are perceived there are other limiting factors that contributes to the resistance of asking for help.  One of the other reasons I was afraid to ask for help or even ask questions that could have helped me was the fear of asking the wrong questions or what I considered to be “a dumb question”. I know that I am not the only one that struggles with being fearful of asking what I perceived to be the wrong questions. There is no such thing as asking the wrong question or a dumb question. Questions are meant to be asked and the answers we need are available to us if we choose it, there is no law that orders us to not to ask for help. There is no crime in asking the crime is not asking questions that always puts us at a disadvantage it keeps us farther away from achieving our goals. Secondly the reason why most people like myself in the past do not ask questions is because they are unwilling to invest in getting the help that they need.  The answer will always be “I cannot afford to pay for it “sadly some of the things we quick to spend money are not things we can afford either they are things we think is necessity. The truth is our reality of what we cannot afford is based on what we may be lacking in that moment. We find it more fitting to spend money on things that only provides with temporary satisfaction but does not serve us or our dreams.

In conclusion my vision for everyone today is to erase the stories that we have been told and cut ties with behaviors that we have learned that do not add value to our lives. Being independent is amazing, being open to learning and receiving the help that we need is a blessing that serves us a life. Life is a journey that comes with a lot of obstacles, and a lot of lessons to that we must learn. Our sole purpose on earth not about the limiting stories we have created in our minds about what others think about us and expect from us. No one is an island and it is ok to not know it all and be okay with needing help in the areas that is not your lane of practice. Understand that not being a know it all is only harmful to us if we choose to not ask questions to learn. The only bad questions are the ones that are never asked, gift yourself the gift of knowledge and be confident in applying what you have learned into action. We only lose when we choose pride, there is power in transparency and blessings when we are honest with ourselves first. It takes a brave soul to choose to thrive by any means necessary no matter what the world thinks. Walk in your purpose be present to your emotions in order to continue to learn, grow, and excel no matter what you are faced with.

“When In Doubt Ask For Help , The Worse That Can Happen Is You Learn Something New.”

Happiness Is Not The Absence Of Problems

“Choose Happiness
Choose Love
Choose To Live An Unapologetically Blessed Life.”

“Happiness is not the absence of problems” a powerful statement, right?  And a hundred percent accurate. In today’s generation I have noticed that you have some people that would rather see or hear people complain all day about how bad their life is. You also have some that will judge someone and label them as being fake if they always display a joyful attitude. Happiness is not the absence of problem speaks major volume to me because I commit every day to be happy no matter what I am facing at the time. Does this mean that life is not happening? no It just means that no matter what being happy is my first choice. This choice does not only benefit myself, but it has an impact on the people in my home, the people I work with, and family members.  We all have moments in life where we want to just scream, a lot of times the first thing in the morning you are greeted with stuff for example an outstanding bill, car won’t start, missed your alarm clock, the weather, ticket on your car, eviction notice on your door, a lay off phone call from your job,  just to name a few. At the time these obstacles can seem like too much and in the moment, we are so upset we cannot even think of being solution oriented, and sometimes after being greeted with stuff we still must continue with our normal routine. This is not the easiest thing to do when all you can think of is why now and how am I supposed to fix this; I was not expecting this to happen etc.

Those were some of the things I would say out loud sometimes, I would even let what happened ruin my whole day of being productive because I was still in the mindset of this thing happening instead of telling myself it happened and the only thing you can do now is find the solution. In these moments is when I am especially grateful for my husband and him being my voice of reasoning. Having someone that is capable reminding you of what is most important and even sometimes to just remind you of your strength and who you are.  The problem a lot of the times is we go through life, we face obstacles, but what most people are missing is someone that can encourage you to stay encouraged and keep going. I am also grateful for my accountability partners my mother and my best friend over ten years sometimes you have people in your life that just knows when and what to say at the right moment.  A lot of the times that’s all I needed to calm me down, I would take a moment to have word with God just asking him for guidance. Once I have cast my problems unto him, I am able to go on worry free and just be happy. Another thing that helped me was when I worked in the hospital and I would meet a patient that was very ill but had the most pleasant attitude this helped me with being more present to the fact that happiness is really your choice. The choice of how we choose to live life No, the issues will not disappear, but we must trust that it will be handled at the right moment

While we wait for directions on how to fix it our mission is to remain focus and just be happy. my advice to myself and all of you is not to care what people think about your happiness and how you handle life.  Take on life’s obstacles with grace and gratitude. When life seems hard, feel free to take a trip down memory lane and think about all the obstacles that came before this one. Think about how unsure you were at first, and  remember how you got through it and  the lessons you learned along the way. Remember do not apologize for being you and remain focus on your happiness. In the long run you will have learned the value of just being happy vs being happy because of people, places, and things because you chose happiness even when your world seemed upside down. It is not easy, but it is worth it

Be A Light For Others

Positive energy is contagious while this is true negative energy is just as contagious, you are responsible for the energy you transfer daily to the people you come across.  You can leave people feeling one or two ways about you, you can negatively affect them or leave a positive impact on their life.  It is important to make a conscious effort to be aware of what vibe we share no matter what the situation is. Have you ever noticed how quickly we can go from being happy to upset or even sad?  Have you ever had one of those days you got up and told yourself today was going to be a great day until you head out the door and the craziness of the world hits you? Road rage, horns honking loudly, you get to work co-workers already complaining, suddenly that bubbly feeling is now a feeling of being annoyed, upset and anxiously waiting for the day to be over.   You even start to back track in your mind with questions like I was having such a good morning what happened? Life happened for most people chaos is the everyday norm it is now up to us to protect our energy.

We are all wonderful and fearfully made we have so much to offer the world and reasons to just be joyful. The struggle is so real majority of the time it is a lot easier to just give up the power of being in control of our own emotions. Not letting people, places, or things steal our joy and this takes a lot of practice, patience and self-discipline. Something as simple as you are greeting someone with a great morning and maybe not even getting a response can easily have us feeling like” ok   no more Mr. nice guy”.  That’s when we lose because, our mood should not change based on someone else’s response your happiness is determined by you and not others. Not everyone you come across will be open or receptive, but the reality is they were supposed to come across you in that moment of them facing whatever is going in their life. We are put in specific places at specific times for a special reason don’t miss the assignment by taking someone else’s misplaced anger so personal.

 How do we practice protecting our energy so we can be a light for someone who needs us?  By changing our mindset and changing our lifestyle. You must analyze your life, what are some of the things you spend time listening to are they speaking positivity in your life, who are the people you spend time talking to are they constantly complaining or upset every time you speak. You must take the initiative to spend less time soaking up negativity.  Be mindful of the things you share and say even if you are having one of those days that things seem out of your control. Do not get on the phone and dump the problems of your world on someone close to you, do not get on your social media complaining and spreading the negativity. Instead of sharing your light you have now just dimmed someone else’s light that may be going through something worse. They may need a positive word in that moment they come across your ranting you have just enabled them to surrender to their problems instead of giving them hope.  Note to self No matter what is going on in your life there is always someone doing worse take, the time to see the positive in the negative.  Make that choice to be UNAPOLOGETICALLY HAPPY because it could change someone else’s life.

“Let Your Light Be A Blessing To Others.”

Live In Harmony

They say in moments of tragedy it often comes with great lessons that always brings people closer to being present and appreciative, in the last few weeks I have heard a lot of stories of people suffering from depression and a series of suicides being committed. At first the emotions I felt was disbelief  and sadness , after I am able to process it all I began to feel guilty , I did not feel responsible for what happened to these individuals, but in reflecting on my life and things that I allow to sometimes get me down or upset created a feeling of guilt . I was hit with the reality of just how blessed I am and how easy it is to look past that when ever there are little bumps or set backs along the way. Life is so precious, and time is of the essence we cannot afford to waste not even a second on complaining and worrying. The mystery of when our final moment will be should be motivation in our lives to make each moment of our lives a special one, investing it in laughter, love, and pure enjoyment is what is important. The reality is our life is already predestined everything that we are meant to experience does come to God by surprise, even when it comes as a surprise to us our responsibility is to learn to flow and roll with the twists and turns.

“It is our responsibility to be unapologetically happy and be unapologetic about loving and appreciating everything and everyone.”

One of the most interesting ironies  that I find so challenging but necessary after receiving news that a friend of the family’s son sadly committed suicide, it had me in total shock and sadness but it also brought on a sense of awareness or what I would say is a  wake up call . I was talking to my mother and I said to her “you know let us make a vow to stop worrying or complaining about the little things we allow to take us out of character some days.” I commit each day to living in gratitude always and even in those moments I am still human, and I know that there are moments when God is testing me. The reason why it was so important to invite my mother on making that vow is because I spend a lot of time talking to my mother and sometimes making changes can be difficult alone. Engaging the people that you invest most of your time with daily is important and it is extremely helpful to have an accountability partner that you love, and they love you back in return. The test to claiming that and declaring it is that the next day we both were hit with tests back to back it was almost as if our series of events  was synchronized, and in those moments  it is easier  to make the first conclusion that the devil is working . The conclusion I chose was that I knew that what was taking place was not an act of the devil but a true test from God and once I recognized that I was able to be in gratitude for what was happening and staying  committed to my vow  to trust God. I chose to   remain thankful no matter how challenging a present situation is and continue to set my intentions on focusing on what I can control.

The beauty about each day is that no matter how dark the night gets the sun comes out again tomorrow blessing us with a new opportunity to learn, to love, to grow and really make the most out of what we have in the moment. No matter what we experience we must believe and trust that all things will get better and in due time we will understand why and just how important each moment was. Until then our job is to invest our life in living each moment like it’s our last making everyday a day of purpose and love. Love solves all I encourage everyone reading today that even when you feel lost remember just how much God loves us, remember the people that loves us and how blessed we are to truly be able to love and be loved. It is ok to love even strangers that you connect with you never know how a selfless act of love could bless, change, or save someone else’s life love is not limited to only blood relation or intimacy love is universal. The love of God is universal it is our responsibility to be unapologetically happy and be unapologetic about loving and appreciating everything and everyone.  Today I vow to be open to change, receptive of our blessings and eager to apply the lessons of life daily, because I am created to love and lead a life that is pleasing to God and brings joy and inspiration to others.

Gift Yourself The Life You Deserve

I believe that when we truly desire to have something, we will do whatever it takes to make it happen, but somehow everyone struggles with choosing happiness and peace for their lives. To most it seems easier to go the extra mile to make sure they have the latest foot wear, the latest clothing line out, the most recent model of a car but when the option of choosing happiness for your life is present that choice is almost nonexistent.  I will not speak for everyone but from my experience and from conversations I have engaged in the one thing we shared was the need to worry about hurting others or losing something that is worth less than our well-being. The  things or the people we try to hold on it are some of the most toxic  obstacles we face  how ever the pain and aggravation seems to be worth it because  we will hold on and put all  of our energy in trying to change that person or fix something that cannot be fixed.  The question I asked myself and others is if all you receive is the same disappointing results do you get tired? are you ready for a new thing in your life? Once I presented my self with that question in that moment, I did not have the answer because again I was too attached to the result of how I would make others feel about my decisions or changes.

“Your Dreams
Your Vision
Your Future
Your Happiness
Is Your Responsibility.”

I did what most people would do I continued to compromise myself, my peace, my happiness, and precious time that I was robbing myself of. The only person that continued to suffer was me and once I forgave myself this was the moment, I decided to begin to live my life for me and be unapologetic about my happiness by protecting my peace no matter what. The veil was removed I began to see people and things for who and what they were, at first it hurts but as I continued to give myself the love that I once was so busy giving away to everyone else. The choice to live unapologetic and choosing me first was an amazing, rewarding, and empowering feeling that I fell in love with. The more I poured into myself the more I made it a priority to protect my peace I began to learn how to be in service to those who needed me without the emotional attachment and learning when to walk away from situations that only take away from me. I did not make it a priority to go  around telling people off or making a grand announcement that created this change ,I simply just started saying no more ,I stop engaging in self-defeating  battles and I  allowed others  to operate at their own level without me needing to change or try to control their actions. Through out this journey the one thing I got really present to is that God will always reveal and remove all that is meant to harm us, but it is impossible for things to be revealed if we have not accepted God as out protector.

Life is not about how much control we have over what others do and the things we experience life is  truly about going through each day with a commitment to God first , yourself second , and everyone in your life even the strangers you connect with to be a blessing to them . The more time we invest into developing our mind, body, soul, and spirit the better we are at flowing through life, we can align ourselves and attract the kind of change we want to see in the world. It begins with us taking a good look in the mirror and being in complete gratitude for the simple things in life, knowing when it is time to give and when it is time to receive. Choosing yourself does not making you selfish it makes you selfless because by restoring you your purpose can begin which is bigger than you. I encourage you all to drop some of your heavy loads along the way to prepare to take flight when you live in purpose you can longer carry the burdens of others you can lead them to their greatness. I want you to remember being unapologetic is about standing firm in your value and purpose to let go of anything or anyone that becomes a distraction from what you deserve. It is okay to walk away pray about everything and have integrity with yourself and who you are committed to being.