Have you ever taken a second to ask yourself why do we apologize for expressing our true thoughts or concerns?  I am sure there were times in every one’s life where we may have expressed an opinion or thought but because the person on the receiving end were either offended or confused by it, we feel obligated to apologize. I often debated in my mind if apologizing for our actions especially if we truly meant it even an apology? why should we feel guilty about our truth regardless of how the other person perceives it.  I strongly believe that speaking from a space of truth is everyone’s right, I believe that we set the boundaries in our relationships when we are truthful. The boundaries we set gives people an understanding of who we are and what is acceptable and not acceptable.  Did you know that guilt is one of those emotional barriers that prevents us from taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally? The need to take other’s feelings into consideration before thinking about how this affects us a person can lead to a lot of negative behaviors later. We begin to take on responsibility for other people’s feelings, and before being true to ourselves we automatically make decisions that will please everyone else but our self.

This is common in friendships, intimate relationships, and family relationships we find there is always one person that may be a little more vocal than the other or in some cases two people being in different positions based on their choices in life but placing blame on another to dismiss the feeling of regret.  I remember as teenager I had a friend who I was friends with for several years the issue at hand was my commitment to being guilt free was a big problem in our friendship. There were always expectations and obligations that would be placed on me and because I was always vocal to set boundaries this created conflict. Eventually this friendship came to an end which sometimes is necessary for both individuals one must take responsibility for their choices and stop placing expectations and blame on others and the other must be strong enough to feel guilt free for having boundaries. Life is all about choices it’s like the saying goes people can only use you, abuse you, or neglect you if you allow them or placing more on someone that did not ask for it.  The idea of not subjecting yourself to guilt is to know that your desire for happiness can only happen when you are true to yourself and bold enough to protect yourself no matter who a person is to you.

It is our responsibility to insist on receiving appropriate treatment from others as you would give to them, it is our job to be clear on the things we do not tolerate and the things we accept and not feel guilty because someone cannot not respect them. Do not allow anyone to make you feel crazy or wrong as we should always strive to respect other people’s boundaries for their life and not make it a goal to make them feel guilt for staying true to their self. We must set the tone and believe that we can trust ourselves to care of ourselves and to be present to know when our boundaries are being violated.  When it becomes apparent that we are being violated it is for us to address and be honest about how we feel and what we expect moving forward  unapologetically and if the people in our life can not understand or respect them there is no immediate need for them in your immediate space and it is not our job to feel guilty about choosing our self. In life people have a way of making you responsible for their life and expect you to lose yourself for them to feel comfortable in your presence.  Our role in any and every relationship is to share and encourage not take on the burdens of their choices feel guilt free in your choices.