We will be as happy as we decide to be there is no human being or material things that can give you happiness or make you complete. There are multiple reasons as to why relationships fail and both parties in the relationship is either dissatisfied or unhappy.  A lot of the time people often associate being in love or in a relationship as the root of them happens, and that finding some one they love is the puzzle piece they have been missing. With that mindset the relationship becomes their crutch and safe space, which can be dangerous because when adversities are present could be fatal. It could be fatal because of the expectation of perfection in this safe space. This type of responsibility is unfair to place on any one because some people are more committed to always being true to themselves than being busy assuring the other. The result of that leads to constant frustration and disappointment know this if you are not happy single you won’t be happy taken, happiness comes from within.

 The first step before getting into a committed relationship with some one is to do a mental self-evaluation, making sure that you are ok with you and not operating from a place of lacking. Be sure that if you were in a prior relationship before beginning a new be sure that you are complete and clear from that experience. Lastly making sure that you took some time to love and get to know you as a person and not by the things you have or do not have.  When the opportunity presents its self, you take the time to get to know the person you are getting involved on a mental level not only the physical attraction. Once the line of intimacy is crossed before you can identify if this is someone you are willing to love for them without your judgement being clouded by temporary enjoyment. If not, this could possibly become a short-lived situation. Take time to communicate to learn what you both are expecting to create together.

This does not mean that you or the person in the relationship will be perfect, these steps are just to avoid the problem that most people fall in love with the excitement and the idea of being in a relationship.  Without ever truly knowing if this is someone that they can love and accept, because you are not going to like everything about the person you are with but there must be a level of compromising and understanding. if who they are is not pleasing to you do not ignore that fact because you like the physical assets because later this will be very unfair to both. Why? Because after the physical attraction fades and real-life sets in it will begin to feel like one is trying to now change the other. This will cause confusion because the truth is they have always been this way you just were busy playing a blind eye because you were only focused on the temporary enjoyment.  My words of encouragement are before you take on loving someone else take some time to love you first and get to know you and your worth.  When you find someone take some time to get to know them before giving and compromising your values and peace just for the title or appearance to the world. Remember your happiness is not in the relationship or anyone else’s responsibility you are responsible to give yourself unconditional love and joy.